UML helps you prevent your brain from exploding

Yep, UML helps you keep your head. Just take an actor in a use case diagram. Why is it a stick figure? Perhaps because we are not artists. Imagine having to draw whistler's mother everry time we're representing a user. Go ahead, we'll wait for you to imagine how hard this would be.

What about class diagrams? Think about it for a second, based on how hard it is to imagine a couple thousand lines per class of spaghetti (just  100 lines lasagna if you are good programmer). A class diagram symbol is just a symbol. At most we define name, attribute and method signatures. We do this for good reason. To add more detail implies we actually can absorb, understand, and remember the complete program.

The facts are, we are sloppy and lazy. We can't keep  more than a few things in our heads at one time. Sure we match patterns, but not thousands of lines of Java at the same time. We think linearly. We also are not savants with photographic memories.

Sorry, no idiot savant here. We need a crutch. That's UML.

Developed by nerds, not artists, UML is a cartoon of symbols, not a detaied 3d representation. UML is ugly and unimaginative. Ugly is good. You don't buy ugly a new car from irrational imaginings of a good time.  Ugly is functional.

People complain that UML is confusing. Sure, that's true, but only if you don't understand UML, or objects, or in fact have the ability to abstract life and the world. UML is just a language of symbols. You need to learn to read and write before the alphabet is really useful.

Ok, enough. Go learn. We'll be waiting.